Constant Combat

Everybody Wanted to Fight - Jose Miranda (Part 2 of 2)

• Ramadi Podcast

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 54:36

Send us Fan Mail

With Part 2, Jose Miranda starts with a streak of fire and close encounter with an Army unit during a friendly fire incident. He moves through several blasts, and carnage that defined a brutal summer in Ramadi. Jose closes with coming home, and the slow work of finding small joys and trusted voices.

• the Army engagement
• Operation Treasure Island and body recovery on the river
• May 12 KIA and the May 29 engineer IED and Echo VBIED
• checkpoint split‑second decisions and civilian misreads
• rumors, alcohol accusations, and SOG duty
• leadership under pressure
• stand‑down anxiety and distrust during handover
• homecoming and social withdrawal
• career moves to Edson Range and a quiet Fallujah tour
• why personal accounts complete the larger picture


----------------------------------------------
If you like what you heard, please subscribe on your favorite podcast service or follow our webpage for direct downloads @ https://www.buzzsprout.com/2525088

If you are a member of Weapons Company or someone with a story about Weapons Company 2/4 in 2004, please come tell some stories with us - 20 mins or 20 hours! Help paint the canvas of an archival story for others to know what it was like. Contact us @ RamadiPodcast@gmail.com, or via the podcast website above. 

All music used with permission by soundbay: https://www.youtube.com/@soundbay_RFM 

Setting The Scene In Ramadi

SPEAKER_03

This is part two of our interview with Jose Miranda from Mobile Assault Platoon 2.

SPEAKER_00

We had a I can't remember the tank thing.

The Abrams Friendly Fire Incident

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. Tell that story.

SPEAKER_00

That was an Abrams.

SPEAKER_03

That was an Abrams tank. Yeah. Go ahead, please.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah. So you know what? I think everybody has their own uh point of view where um of what happened that day. So this is mine, you know. So I I know that they the dismounts, which was uh Cohen, Metroca, Neil, and myself, right? We're supposed to set up uh like a vehicle checkpoint from uh vehicles coming into Romati. So you guys dropped us off and then you drove uh north of uh uh round Michigan by those houses. You there was uh like a creek or something like that.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so you guys drove and you found some cover and you guys were uh you know just pretty much providing security for us for us. So we were there for a while, you know, and us four, we're just like bitching about it. Like, like what the fuck are we doing here? There's nothing going on. There were I I believe there were no cars, there was no nobody came.

SPEAKER_03

I never saw a car drive by.

Aftermath And Unanswered Accountability

SPEAKER_00

Nope. So we're like, this is fucking stupid, man. Like too fucking, you know, wasting our time, just you know. So I'm talking to Neil, Neil was in front of me. We were on the side of the road, and I was talking to him, like uh he was in front of me, and then uh was on my side talking to me. Troca, you know, so we're just like you know, uh bullshitting. And then I looked down um round Michigan uh east, right? Going down around Michigan. Um and then I saw this uh I heard uh uh Sakaki describing the ball of fire. That's exactly what I saw. Yeah, no, I can't I can't describe it any any um you know anything else but that. I that's what I saw, a ball of fire. And I just remember that thing going by us. It might have been going uh between us and you guys in the vehicles. And honestly, I never heard that thing going off, you know, because as soon as it it uh flew by us, we started shooting towards where it came from because we thought we were getting um uh RPGs. So we were shooting it was all all of us four, you know. We're we're shooting downrange, and I remember reloading like a couple times, like one, two, two times, you know, I did a magazine uh exchange. And then all of a sudden I start seeing this uh sparks on the kind of like south uh the dam, right? Uh that was the uh raced up burn. There was some uh so I start seeing sparks coming from over there. So I'm like, we're getting uh sparks. I thought they were muscle flashes on the right side, yeah. And down Michigan with that we got that RPG, I'm like, we're getting fucking ambush. There's a fucking ambush, right? And then um and then we went down to Neeling started, uh, kept shooting. I stood up, I was still standing up, right? And then um somebody shot the flare, a red flare. That was me, and then oh and then Neil's like, Miranda, get the fuck down, get down. So we're like everything seized, right? All the fire uh ceased. But we're down the prom and we're just look looking down range, and then we started hearing the tracks, and we're like, What the fuck, man? Like this is it, like this is it. We're fucked, you know. And and then uh we saw the tank, you know, it's coming out of the dark. We saw it, and man, that sight of seeing a tank like that coming towards you, it is like one of the scariest things you're you'll ever experience. Yep. And then this guy is uh stopped, and I saw a bunch of you guys that were with the vehicles like just popping out of the like pissed off, yeah, like yelling at this fucking guy. So and I think the the um there was a lieutenant in there, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, uh I don't remember his rank, but yes, there was an officer inside the the tank that that our lieutenant JD Stevens went and grabbed by the collar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So when this guy got out, like mind you, like all these guys, uh Cohen, Metroca, Neil, and myself, we never stopped um pointing our guns at the tank. Well, yeah, they just shot at you. Yeah, we we I mean, honestly, I I didn't think um um we were safe, you know. So we kept our rifles point towards the fucking tank, and then somebody got out. I think I think it was the it had to be a lieutenant got out, and I had my gun point at him the whole time. You know, I didn't shoot him, right? Yeah, good. So I had my gun point at him, and we're fucking pissed, dude. We're pissed. And then I saw our lieutenant yelling at him. Uh didn't remember seeing Harding. Everybody was fucking yelling there, that right. And then this lieutenant is like, well, we called, we called battalion, and they they said there was nobody out here, and we just saw four guys inside of the road digging, and you know, we shot at it. You know, and that's you know, that's how it went that night. And I remember coming back to uh to HP and somebody uh interviewed me, but that was it. Somebody asked me what happened, this is what happened, and they uh I think they asked me what would you like to happen? What would you uh what what would you like to happen, you know, with this situation? I'm like, well, I wanted to go to uh to the brig, you know, something. But I don't think I don't think ever nothing ever happened with it.

Treasure Island Drownings And Recovery

SPEAKER_03

Well, I don't know, honestly, because it wasn't our chain of command. But uh as far as I know, number one, they didn't believe us, they didn't believe that an Abrams tank had shot at us and we lived, number one. And so fortunately we had pictures, and so when we went back, it's like, yeah, this is a tank and it shot at us. And yeah. And number two, uh, after they got the story from everybody, uh, they never got back to us. We have I have no idea. I don't know what happened. But I'm I sat down with Major Harrell, Major Wiley, and somebody else, someone someone else. I don't know who it was. That was as scared as I have ever been of anything because when that shit passed our vehicle, it the shockwave from it fucking knocked me down and Sakaki down. It knocked both like it literally passed. I I mean, I don't know. It could have been 40 feet away, it could have been four feet away. But the the vibration coming off of it like blew me into the truck and blew Sakaki over off his feet, and he was not a small dude. So yeah, that fucking sucked. Well, man, I don't really know where to go from here, but uh let's see. I don't even remember the date on when we got shot at by that tank, but I know it was in May. I just don't remember what day in May. Um but there's a whole lot of shit that happened all throughout there. We had let's see. Operation Treasure Island was when the those guys from Fox Company drowned, and then our platoon was out on north side of the river for two days, basically 40 40 hours straight searching for bodies. You remember that?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, that was I mean, that was pretty bad, like walking to um through all that swamp and yeah, and bushes and grass and all that stuff looking for these guys, you know. That was uh that was pretty bad, you know. But I know they were like right there, right under the water.

SPEAKER_03

One was one went uh one went yeah straight down and got stuck in the mud, and another one went downriver quite a ways. The one the one downriver was uh I don't remember who recovered that person, but I believe they were found by an Iraqi and then turned in. Uh and but the one that was stuck in the mud was recovered by the Navy Swiftwater Rescue Drivers.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, um I I don't I mean I understand that they need to search the little island thing, but uh I don't know. It was it wasn't big enough to have too much access for anybody to go in there with a boat and unload stuff and and hide it there, you know.

SPEAKER_03

But yeah, I don't know. I don't know what kind of intel they got that they thought that that was a viable thing. Shortly after that, May 12th was when uh Savage was killed. That was our next weapons company casualty, or next last our next weapons company KIA. We had a lot of people that left wounded, a whole bunch of people. I mean, you mentioned Cohen. I remember Cohen broke his jaw and had to leave.

SPEAKER_00

Playing volleyball. Yeah, yeah. I guess that he went through all of that with us, and then somebody took him out here playing, you know, going for a spike, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Uh the next big one, maybe you remember, maybe you don't. Uh, May 29th was when we were on the dam and the engineers were wounded. And the same day was the day that the echo company highback was hit by a vehicle-borne IED.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, um, that day, what I remember, the engineers they were, you know, searching for uh IEDs with their metal detectors, and uh I I know we were not like too happy about it. It didn't make a lot of sense, you know, to send to send somebody out there like that, but we were providing security for them, and I remember when that thing went off, you know, because we were like looking at them and that thing went off, and all of a sudden, like you couldn't see them, so we went up there and the guys were laying on the ground. And I remember taking putting one of them in the stretcher and looking at him, his legs were messed up, man. Like his like pretty messed up. But the thing I remember the most is that his uh balls were you know exposed and just pinging out. That was that was bad, and and the guy he was awake the whole time. Yep, he had like uh a lot of sand in his eyes, probably lost vision. Yeah, it was pretty bad. Uh after that thing, we went to a cemetery. We did, and I can't remember what we were doing up there.

May 29: IED Blast And VBIED Strike

SPEAKER_03

We were providing overwatch, and I I don't I don't know what we were providing overwatch waiting for, but that was what we we were tasked to do is watch the route, basically. And uh Echo came out with their high back, and that's when they were hit by that that V bid.

SPEAKER_00

But I I remember us driving by it. Yep. Um I don't know if it was a couple of times, but at least once we drove by it, and we we we called it in.

SPEAKER_03

The the first time we drove by it was on our way with the engineers as our casualties, and there was a person standing by it, so it didn't look suspicious. And then the on our way back out, two vehicles drove past it, and I believe Sledgehammer's whole platoon drove past it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. No, we called it in, we called it in too.

SPEAKER_03

Right, and we called it in and it that it didn't matter, nobody took a different route, and then and then it blew.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, uh, we called it in because we looked kind of suspicious, you know, like right because he had been there for a while, and and I just I remember being up there in the up there in cemetery and just feeling this shock wave all the way up there. Yep, and then looking over and seeing this big mushroom. It was like a mushroom, you know. And uh smoke, you know, but uh and dirt probably uh and then us I think we were the first to respond to it because we were so close, right? Yep, yep, and I remember getting there and it was just a mess. There was a big ass crater, there were uh the hideback and then all these guys on the ground, like just bleeding to death, some of them dead already. And then uh we're trying to uh medavac them to um it was uh the camp close to them. Combat outpost? Yeah. So I took a high back. Can't remember if it was our high back or their high back. But me and a driver, we took a high back. We put a couple of guys in the back and we drove them to combat outpost. But I think when they got there they were uh dead already. And then we came back, and um yeah, and I was there was like blood everywhere, just vehicle parts everywhere, a lot of uh debris on the road. Um that was big. I mean, they they waited for that. They they took their time and after that we got a little search party. We went to some buildings uh close by because that's where we thought they were just sitting and waiting, and we couldn't find anything. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I feel bad for those guys. I mean, um, I don't know how many died that time.

SPEAKER_03

I read it at some point. I I know just from what I witnessed walking through and treating people, uh, four were dead right there. Uh I don't remember how many actually ended up passing, but it was four that were dead right there. And there was yeah, quite a few people that were critically wounded. Um I I would imagine all of those guys left theater that day, and it was a completely loaded high back. So it was probably eight, eight, nine people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh even the the vehicle commander and the driver, everybody was messed up.

SPEAKER_03

Everybody was in combat ineffective, right? That everybody was unable to do anything. They, I mean, they weren't even able to stand up.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like you said, that was a huge one, too. It was. Yep. Yep. We were sitting up on top of the cemetery with Lieutenant Wells, which was our company XO. And at first, he was sitting there and he was like, I don't know what to do. And then we said, Well, sir, you're you're the senior officer, you have to make the call. And he's like, We need to go. We need to go, and we need to go to and scoop them up and go to combat outposts. And that's sounds like that's what you did. And that's what I did as well. I think all of us took a casualty or two and started driving.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um I mean, what other situations like that after after that?

SPEAKER_03

Uh there was a lot. I mean, when we looked at the statistics, uh, we were in a gunfight every other day. Uh every day or every other day, basically from then on out. From May all the way to the end of August. And then we had a short break at the end of August. And then it kicked right back up again in September as we handed off. The next, let's see, trying to think of the next big things. Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04

Uh, you had mentioned that you uh ended up getting a little bit more dismounted. Uh do you remember any uh specific uh dismounts, especially cordon searches or door kicks? Any I mean, maybe not attached to a specific mission, but one that sticks out in your head, maybe you don't remember what day it was, but something that sticks out in your head.

SPEAKER_00

Um one uh particular time where we had this uh cordon, right? I don't know who was doing the searches, but uh I went up on the roof with uh coin and somewhere somebody else. And then there was this vehicle that rushed through the uh our berries that we had. Uh he got tangled up on on some sea wire, and then he was like going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So I started shooting at the tires, and the guy kept going, right? And I think I don't know, were you there that day? Some of you guys shot at the vehicle too.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And um and then I had Cohen with uh with the saw like point at the guy, and he's like, should I shoot now, Sergeant? Should I shoot? And I'm like, wait. So I shut the tires, and then uh the guy opened the door and he's like, should I shoot, Sergeant? I'm like, no, wait, wait, wait. And then you guys called uh ceasefire because you were you guys were uh kind of intercepting this guy, and um it turns out the guy was blind. Yep, he couldn't see where he was going, and I'm like we thought he was gonna blow us up, and but no, you the the guy was was blind.

SPEAKER_03

He was driving, but he was blind, yeah.

Checkpoints, Misreads, And Hard Calls

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but we we have a we have a similar one on the sledgehammer side of things, uh, and I've as been told before, but the the the quick version is is that we were also having a checkpoint for a cordon, and a truck is just flying down the road. We can't stop him, can't stop him. Finally we open up. We just unleash, holy hell, and this vehicle comes to a stop. I'm part of the contact team. We go up there. As it turns out, the guy was driving 60 miles an hour with no brakes. And so that's why you couldn't stop because that he was just he couldn't. And so he got he got uh he got a few holes in him for uh and he survived, but he had a few holes in him for uh not having brakes on a truck. But he was going like he was going like 60 though. I don't know what he thought he was gonna do.

SPEAKER_03

But well, and it all that sounds crazy, like you would just shoot a car full of people, but on the sixth, seventh. And eighth, that's how they reinforced was regular cars. It was taxis and ambulances one time and trucks. They would pull up, and guys would just dive out of the sides with RPGs and AKs, and you had to shoot the vehicle so they couldn't reinforce anymore. And there was that that was the tactic. Like deny the enemy not only the vehicle, but hopefully kill the dudes in the vehicle at the same time because that was the reinforcements that were surrounding you. I mean, on the sixth and the seventh, we were completely surrounded, 100%, and on all sides. And so the only way they were reinforcing was with vehicles on the side streets.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I remember seeing a lot of uh a lot of vehicles like spinning away like really fast. Yep. Right after we made contact. Like they just probably like they were dropping off guys, and they're just taking off a lot of taxis. Yep. A lot of taxis, like yeah, a lot of taxis. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, other than that, like uh uh dismount, man, they had some good doors over there. Oh yeah, some some some houses they had this like solid wood doors that it took like five kicks to to open them to break them. Yeah, and good quality. Not like here, you know, not the doors here.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. Uh we were talking to somebody else, and they said they had a breaching kit with like a pry bar. They could like pry doors open. I was like, we didn't have a fucking pry bar. We had a short sledgehammer that was this tall, and that was it, and we had you.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, yeah, the the thing the like a little kid right in a bag at the end.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we finally got that way late, but in the first part of the deployment, we didn't have that. We had a we had a tiny sledgehammer that we that we stole.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, yeah, man. Do you guys ever heard about um I don't want to say names, okay? Uh this guy, um that he had some uh prostitutes coming to the North Bridge.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, no, I've never heard that one. Okay, no.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, he was kind of like, you know, he's he was trying to you know get money, like people were gonna pay money to go fuck them. And then when he saw what they brought, they ended up being they brought in some dudes, you know.

SPEAKER_03

So they brought children, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00

I'm surprised that you guys haven't heard about that. Nope, no, I just I asked um I think I asked Bundy, yeah, and I asked uh Pacheco about you know Pacheco, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they're like, no, I never heard about it. How the fuck do I know about it? Like, do you have a I didn't I didn't see it, right? But you know how there's rumors all the time, yeah. Yeah, man. So that I think that was that was funny, and then there was this time, um the party party at the North Bridge. Yeah, so man, these guys yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I heard about people buying food, I heard about people buying drinks, I heard about people buying alcohol and cigarettes, and there was another time when somebody dropped a weapon off of North Bridge and then held the Iraqis at gunpoint to pick it up for them, yeah, and radios, yeah, yeah.

Rumors, Discipline, And The North Bridge

SPEAKER_00

No, this day, this day I was uh the US B. No, no, there I guess there was um awesome. So this day I was I was the SOG when this happened, right? Yep, and I'm not gonna mention any names. Yeah, that's fine. So I went out there because I was gonna do an exchange of uh of the guard with the north bridge. I had my four guys, so I had to replace was it four guys on the north bridge or just two? To my knowledge, it was two. Two, okay. So I had my two guys. I you know, I told them I'm coming over. So when I was outside, uh I you know I knocked on the door so they could open the door from the um inside. Yep. And you know, I saw I saw this marine. He was like, Yeah, uh, he was like slurring his words, he was like kind of like out of it. I'm like, what's going on? Oh nothing, sorry. I'm like, are you okay? What's going on? So then I go up there to the bridge, and I think I saw a couple bottles of whatever, you know? So I did the replacement, I came back, and I'm like, I gotta I gotta tell somebody, you know. I think I told Neil about it, yep, and he had to report it. You know, so the thing with that everything came down on me. Like I was being blamed. Actually, I got I got pulled into the uh first sergeant's hooch, and and then he had me sitting on a chair, and then he was telling me, like, hey, Sergeant Miranda, you know, like they're telling me that you were supplying alcohol to those marines. I'm like, fuck, no sergeant, no, I wasn't. No first sergeant, I wasn't. He's like that you were doing this, and I'm like, no, first sergeant, I wasn't. And then they sent me to the uh sergeant major, and I was there with Sergeant Major, he was pissed off, he was telling me, um, he's like, What the fuck am I gonna do with you? I'm like, by that time, I was like, you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_03

Just yeah, no shit.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, you can only say I didn't do it so many times because by then they had threatened me with uh busting me down to private to taking me to the break, and and then oh, you know, uh Master Blake, they threatened they uh threatened me with putting me with the 81s, that was like the worst than death.

SPEAKER_04

That was like the worst.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like, fuck, I don't want to be 81. It was either that or jail, and so I went to jail. Oh yeah, but I mean that's that's what happened, and then uh after that, I don't know if you remember Shane. After that, I'm like, I'm not gonna be a fucking SOG anymore. I do remember that. I'm like, put me on fucking guard with this guy. So every time we did uh the guard thing, I was going with the with the other guys, you know. Yep, and I I just didn't like the way I was treated during the situation.

SPEAKER_03

And I don't think I didn't I didn't know any of that. I will tell you on the back end, uh Lieutenant Stevens was super fucking pissed and at you. Uh he he was like, he gave up his position and all this stuff, and he doesn't want to be a leader and he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And I I went over and started a fight with him, basically. Started arguing with him. I was like, I I don't fucking think so. I was like, he's he you say what you want, that motherfucker is always on point when it comes to doing the mission. I was like, so I highly doubt that he doesn't want to do it. I think you I think everybody shit on him or something, and I didn't know what happened. But now that you're filling in the piece to me 21 years later, now I know. But we got in we got into it behind the headquarters, hooch, and he was anyway, we it was very heated. We were yelling at each other.

SPEAKER_00

It's fun. Yeah, no, but it was it was because of that because um all the uh all the shit that I was being you know accused of. Well, yeah, they were like busting me down like the fucking and I never in Iraq I never even saw a bottle of alcohol. You know, and so I was I was pissed. And then I I think I might have came to you and told you, like, you know what, I don't wanna do I don't want to do fucking gore anymore. I don't wanna be SOG, put me up there with the fucking guys.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

And um it was because of that, because I'm like sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

If you're gonna be blamed for shit, yeah.

Base Attacks And Holding It Together

SPEAKER_00

It was not the responsibility, it's just the way I was I was treated, you know, like I'm the one because of me, I caused this whole thing, and and you know, that wasn't that wasn't the case, but yeah, that was that was why I didn't want to be an SOG anymore. Yeah, you know, and you know, there were a couple times up there in the post uh in the South Bridge. One time we were getting engaged, and um I don't know if you remember this building in front of uh the North Bridge, I believe. It was like a two or three-story building, but empty.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

So we're getting engaged, and somebody said uh they were somebody was shooting from there. And then I was with um uh what's his name? Uh uh well I wasn't with one of the Marines, right? And I'm like, shoot at that fucking building, and then he's like, Which one? I'm like, so I put some rounds on the building, and then he just started like I'm like that building. So he got on the gun, it's so he just started like unloading fucking um yeah, 240 rounds, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I mean at one of the times we were, I don't know, I I don't remember if it was in the sixth, seventh, or eighth, we were getting engaged, we're getting like motor rounds, everything was going on outside the base, inside the base. And I know one of the guys from headquarters, he was all freaked out about it, and it's like, we're gonna die, we're gonna die. I'm like, what the fuck, man? Shut the fuck up. And it's like he was running from vehicle to vehicle, just basically yelling, like, we're gonna die, we're gonna die. Like, oh my god, we're gonna die. I'm like, dude. By this time we had been in in several uh firefights, so we're like another fucking day. Yeah. So yeah, but um what else? I mean, you know, when when we pulled out of uh Iraq, one of the I think the the hardest days for me were the last couple days getting uh getting out of uh HP. Yeah, and you know, because I'm like, okay, we're done, we're going to this other base. Can't remember the name of the other base, junction city, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so we're driven over there and it was were were you a part of the the the stay behind though? Or did you you you okay, okay.

unknown

Nope.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, no, no. When um I think Shane and them, they were doing the left seat, right seat. Yep. And some of us went to uh Junction City when you guys were doing that, right? Yes, yeah. Um yeah, I mean, but it was it was pretty eventful, you know.

SPEAKER_04

When you when you say it was the hardest, what do you what do you mean by hardest?

Standing Down And Trusting Others

SPEAKER_00

Oh, like we didn't have any any guns, anymore. We didn't have any support, any we're relying on somebody else to provide security for us, which the whole deployment we're providing our own security, you know. Oh yeah. So yeah, that was like like you had uh just thinking you had to rely on somebody else to provide security for you when this whole time you've been doing all the security, and and then it's pretty hard to trust somebody else other than the guys that you just spent seven months with, you know. Um so it's very hard to trust anybody else. Uh I at that point I thought anybody else was incapable of providing security for us, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Well, we had a lot of evidence that they couldn't. I mean, like quite seriously, the the guys that were that we were doing left seat right seat with, they just kept shit in the bed over and over and over again. And then we had all of our interactions with the army that we did that were not always positive of them showing that they were competent. And so no, I I agree with you, man. I that I I also remember that transition when they were asking us to basically stand down, and how many of us like we're keeping keeping an extra uh pistol on us?

SPEAKER_03

Um people hit pistols, people were hiding grenades in their pockets and didn't want to give them up. They're like, I'm I've got something, you know, like yeah, it was a lot of stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I agree with you, man.

SPEAKER_00

Um, you know, I don't know if uh some of the people you talked about have ever talked about like coming home.

SPEAKER_03

Several people have. I I would love to hear your story because I know you came back and you were not with us long, and then you went to Edson Range? Is that right? Edson Range, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coming Home Numb And Detached

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, coming home, I don't know, like the whole time I'm I'm missing my family, missing my girlfriend, you know, uh feeling um like you know, like you're missing the most important people in your life at that time, right? So we got home, uh, we got off the bus, my parents were there, my sisters were there, and then I just remember seeing them and not having any feelings for them. Like none, none whatsoever. Like they hugged me or whatever, but I just didn't feel like I was present, you know. And that day we were issue our rooms or whatever, and then I remember when uh my mom helped me put my stuff away in my room. And after that, my mom was like, Well, let's go eat somewhere, let's go some someplace, you know, and I told her, like, you know what? No, I'm like, I just want to be alone. That's it. I just want to be alone. I don't want to see anybody, I don't want to talk to anybody, I want to be alone. And you know, that's part of like you were in this situation with in seven seven months with people around you all the time. Yeah, you're never alone. 24-7. And coming back home, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to see anybody. And you know, they ended up convincing me to go to the mall and do things with them. But then after coming back and closing my door, I just lay down on my bed and just kind of like tried to process Iraq. You know, because before that time, I I hadn't. I we we didn't have the time to do that. You know, so I remember sitting uh laying on my bed, just lights off, everybody was already gone, and just thinking like like what the fuck? Like what what just happened, you know, a couple months prior. And then seeing my family, uh, and me thinking like I gotta have feelings, I gotta feel something. I can't feel anything. Like I felt like something something was wrong with me. And then when I went home to see my girlfriend back then, I saw her, I dude, I didn't want to see her. Um like when I when I first saw her, like before that, I'm like, oh, I love her, all this stuff, you know. But when I saw her, I'm like, I don't feel anything for this person. Like I was numbed, you know. I stood with her because I believed that sometime my feelings were not were gonna come back. And honestly, they never came back uh fully. You know, and there's always uh there there has always been this kind of uh detachment from from people, you know, trying to make uh connections with uh even with new people. And you know, I think that's you know, probably really one of the hardest things, you know, like having to come back and and feel like that, you know, and everything's supposed to be like okay, now you're uh safe, you're home, uh there's nobody shooting at you, but then feeling like kind of like you don't belong, something like that, you know. And also I also remember uh coming back and just enjoying little things. Like just enjoying little things like like getting in a car and driving without you know, all these people, like Iraqi people around you. Yeah. I don't know. Like cities clean, you know, clean cities, uh um the air conditioning, you know, things that you don't think when you go to Iraq, you don't you don't think about it when you come back and and then you're uh eating fast food, eating all that stuff, it's like the first time you do it, I'm like, damn, I I I enjoy this. I enjoy those little things, you know, that I took for granted before. And now I don't so uh you know, I that's that's kind of how I felt, you know, when I when I got back.

SPEAKER_03

Do you still feel that way?

SPEAKER_00

You know like something something is not there emotionally. You know you know I now have a wife, uh three kids, and still feels like something like there could be something more, but I'm just like not capable of that, you know? Like also kind of have a hard time talking. To new people. Like even small convers uh small talk, like it's like weird for me, you know, doing that. I know with you guys I can talk, you know, sure. But with other people it's like not interested, you know. So yeah, man. I don't know, I don't know guys how you guys felt when coming back, but that was that was me, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, very similar. And so I'm curious, and how long were you you weren't with the unit for very long before you went to Edson Range, right? It was a month or two.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I went to Edson Range around December. Okay, yeah, December, January, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I mean we came back late September, everybody was off basically the whole month of October, and so you were with the unit November and then left in December.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I was actually gonna get out. I would agree. I'm like, I'm down with the Marine Corps, fuck this shit, you know. But the monitors came and they offered me$35,000. I'm like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm like, I'm gonna go to Edson Range. And I I should have back then I should have taken care of my career better. I should have made better choices. But I'm like, I'm gonna go to Edson Range, do two years, and then go somewhere else and just you know, be done with it. But I think I should have taken a different route, you know. But Edson Range, I mean, I'll be there, I'll be getting to work at nine in the morning by two like 1400, I'll be off. I'll go to Oceanside fishing, and I even had a 10, dude. That's not bad, man. Yeah, man. So that was it was like that for two years, and then when it was time for me to go to a unit, um, I wanted to have a say on where I was going. So I started looking up a unit uh units, and I'm like, you know what, I want to go to another unit, like 2.4, like another unit that has seen a lot of stuff, you know, experience like experience-wise, you know. And I'm like, I want to go to 3.5. So they sent me to 3.5, and I was there. Uh we went back uh to we went to Fallujah. Yeah, I was there for seven months, and it was the most boring fucking deployment I've ever done. Like nothing happened, like never got shot at. It was just boring, you know. We used to make fun of the junior Marines that were there with us, like, because we all had like uh all the senior marines from 3-5 and myself, we had combat action ribbons, yeah. And these guys didn't have anything, we're just like making fun of them, like you're not getting fun of them. Not today, not today. Uh yeah, nothing nothing ever happened with uh with 3-5 during that deployment, and coming back from 3-5. I having eight months left on my enlistment, I went to the to the gym.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's a good spot for you.

SPEAKER_00

I was there for eight months nice at the gym, just skating, dude. That was even better than that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, good for you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so well, a little less serious topic before we before we let you go. What do you remember doing on your downtime? I remember you hanging out with Solis a lot, that was what I remember, but I don't remember much else. What did you do when we weren't out on missions?

Career Moves And A Quiet Deployment

SPEAKER_00

So my thing over there in Iraq and lifting weights. I remember that. That was it then that's all I did. Um, I remember coming back from missions. I was like tired and exhausted, dehydrated. I'm like, I gotta go to the gym. So that's what I did. I went to the gym, came back, wrote letters home, and uh I didn't read any books, I didn't play any video games, I didn't do do any of that. I didn't smoke.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's right. You were the only one, you're the only Marine I know who never smoked or chewed tobacco. You were the only one.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, I I knew how to um do the thing with the hand that uh Yeah, the pack pack the Copenhagen, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I knew I knew how to pack it, but no, you were the only you are the only one I know that never ever ever partook. That's you were a very clean Marine as far as that goes, so it's funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and my thing was with that with packing the thing. I'm like, if you ever get shot and you can't do it, I'll I'll do it for you. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, but that's um that's pretty much it what I did. Uh when I also were there, I just wanted to be in shape. All my care packages were like protein and protein bars. I do remember that, yeah. Creatine, and that was it. I mean, I don't know, there was not not much. My life wasn't that complex like you guys is. I was very simple, you know.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I slept right next to you. I I don't know that my life was all that complex.

SPEAKER_00

Well, so I was next to you, and uh so I I'm I must have been between you and Neil. Yep, because I was right next to Neil.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, yep. I was on your I was on your right, Neil was on your left. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Fucking Neil, he's funny.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

One time I was I come back from the gym and he's like, he's like, you're trying to do bodybuilding. I'm like, yeah, all right, what do you think? Because I think he used to do bodybuilding or something like that.

SPEAKER_03

He was uh he was a model at one point, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then and then I'm like, yeah, what do you think? He's like, you need to lose fat. I'm like, okay, but he said like really seriously. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I think you're right. But he was a good, cool dude, you know. Neil's great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, cool, man. Is there anything else you want to go over?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I mean, you know, I really appreciate you guys doing this, honestly. Um I don't know after this if I'm gonna ever talk about it again. And um, I don't see myself talking to somebody else about it unless like one of you guys reach out and and ask me, hey, what about this, what about that? But other than that, I don't I never done it before. Like talk about this, and I don't think I'm probably gonna ever have a chance to do it again. So I mean, this is a good spot for everybody to just unload and say whatever they haven't been able to say to the people they know, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, man. You hit the point. Uh I I can't speak for Blake, but I know uh 21 years I haven't talked to anyone about this at all. Yeah, uh other than Blake. I uh we've remained friends since boot camp, and uh we meet every year or two years or whatever, and we bullshit and just like you're doing, have a cocktail and fucking tell war stories. That's it, dude. That's it. I I don't yeah, I don't talk to anybody about anything, even my own family.

Gym Routines, Bonds, And Small Joys

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, um same here. Like my wife, my current wife, she doesn't know where I've been, she doesn't know what I've done, she doesn't know a lot of stuff, you know? Yeah, and a part of it is because I think if I ever talk about it with her, she wouldn't understand. Yeah, you know, so I mean you guys are doing a great job, you know. I'm hearing all the other stories, uh a lot of a lot of the other stories and whatever you your stories are you're talking about, it kind of like everything's like making sense, you know. Because a lot of the things that you're saying, Shane, I'm like, oh yeah, I fucking remember that. Yeah, some of the things uh that Blake has said, I'm like, okay, I remember them doing that. I remember this, I remember that. So it's making like a lot of connections. Yeah, you know, and I think the more you do it, the more I hear stories, especially from our platoons individually, like you know, like hear something else from their uh his guys, you can have like a better picture, better understanding of you know, because it's you hit it on the head, man.

SPEAKER_03

That's the goal. Trying to paint the whole picture from everybody's perspective.

SPEAKER_00

It's funny that you could be in the same firefight, be right next to each other, and have two completely uh points of views, you know, 100%. And and that's uh that's one of the things uh it kind of keeps me like listening to this uh this podcast, you know. Because you know, uh some of the things uh uh the Jesse Jordan has said.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Man, that kind of filled a hole that I was missing. Like kind of like connected a link that I was missing, you know. And I'm sure as I keep listening to uh to your podcast, I'm gonna have like a better understanding of of uh like all the situation and what everybody went through, and and I'm sure everybody has something to add up and and um that we have never heard before.

SPEAKER_04

You know 100%.

SPEAKER_00

So that's that's I think that's very it's very very exciting to to hear different stories and and hear you guys talk. I mean you guys kept track of all this stuff, you know. I don't fucking know anything. Can't remember the roads over there with Michigan.

SPEAKER_03

Well we have the fortune of now having lots of conversations, but we've also dug up lots of material and uh and reviewed it in order to better facilitate the story.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, man. Like, you know, I appreciate this, and you know, I hope you guys keep doing it, and you know, if it branches out to other other companies out there, then you know.

SPEAKER_03

We'll see, man. Uh that's that's very ambitious. Our goal currently is just to try to get if if possible, there are people from Weapons Company who do not want to share, and that's okay. But I hope that everybody thinks about sharing at least five or ten minutes at a minimum, uh, would be wonderful because then we can get everybody's story. Because there's a lot of people who aren't even alive anymore, and and so we'll never get their stories. So it'd be good if we can get a little bit of some.

SPEAKER_04

Well, and like you said, you you uh you hit you hit it on the head when you said everybody has some unique story that nobody else really knows. And uh and that happens every single time we have a conversation. You you you tell in the hooker story. I I didn't know didn't know anything about that. And that's that's hilarious. And it it it it just adds it adds to the larger mosaic of of what was going on over there. And uh and just hearing and hearing everybody's the way that they describe it just a little bit differently also I think really helps. I mean, that I I've definitely read in on this stuff for a long time, but every time I hear somebody talk about it, there's a little bit more clarity every single time, or gives me a little bit of a better perspective of me processing how I came home too, you know, and uh that it wasn't easy. I did not have a smooth process coming home. And uh I've uh I've worked through a lot of that and I'm in a better spot than I was 20 years ago. Uh don't drink like I used to. Um, but uh um but it's good and it's good to hear how everybody else is doing it too. So I really, really appreciate you sharing all the different parts that you did uh on this. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, man. It's uh it's really nice seeing you guys again. I hope uh those reunions then don't happen every 10 years because I don't know, who knows? It seems like every time there's a reunion, there's less and less people, you know, and it's gonna multiply.

SPEAKER_03

Like yeah, next year we're getting old.

Why These Stories Matter

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Next year is gonna be less, and then eventually there's just gonna be a few of us. So I don't know, it'd be great to do it up more often, you know, those uh reunions.

SPEAKER_04

Yep. I hear you.